Self awareness (SA) is a concept that is increasingly recognised as a major building block of successful relationships. Without awareness of our own feelings, values and preferences it is difficult to handle those around us in the most effective way. Some say it’s impossible to truly know another person without knowing ourselves first.
Sometimes anger, frustration and conflict can arise in relationships between individuals who have low SA or where one party has little insight into the way they affect those around them. Emotional Intelligence is not about being emotional but being smart with our emotions. At work we deal with conflict and people who oppose your view. It is how you handle yourself in those situations that usually affects the outcome.
Examples:
“A leader, who has to deal with a difficult member of staff, may find herself becoming tearful as she often does when dealing with aggressive people. Her self awareness would mean she would recognise certain ‘signs’ in herself, physical changes like ‘butterflies in stomach’, that would alert her that she may soon begin to get upset. She could remove herself from the situation so she does not lose her authority in the difficult situation.”
“A team member used to get angry with his colleagues when they had a group task to complete. He would often take too much on and find it difficult to say ‘no’. This would lead to his stress level increasing and often arguments would arise because he was so difficult to work with. Once this person became more self-aware, he was able to recognise that he puts other people’s needs before his own which leads him to resent others. By learning to recognise his own needs and say ‘no’ to extra responsibilities, he has more control over the way he feels and no longer feels angry at other team members.”
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